Tuesday 15 December 2009

xmust

watched tv a few weeks ago in the morning, Philip Scofield said xmas is only 4 weeks away but don't get stressed out.

What a cunt.

Tuesday 14 July 2009

10,000 years from now

As far as we know 10,000 years ago us humans were living in caves and huts with no ways to communicate other than speaking, shouting and probably on many occassions screaming.

We were only aware of food, keeping warm, sex (could be me) and surviving to the age of 30 without serious damage. We were short, thick set and pretty hairy with incredible BO.

The concept & design of a wheel, two wheels would be more useful, could still have been in its early stages while rolling tree trunks was the only option.

We knew nothing of the universe and we may well have thought that it was an entirely new fire ball at every sunrise and as its strength ran out fell quietly down behind the horizon.

And here we all are now, 10,000 years later, much slimmer (i've left americans out of this) and taller casually using technology that if suddenly experienced by those stocky ancestors would surely cause them serious screaming followed by mental breakdown.

So try and imagine what humans will be up to in ten thousand years time.

At our continued rate of 'progress' we could be using our solar system simply as home base for those that will be toing and froing across large chunks of the milky way in something that you would need a quantum leap of imagination to consider - remember - Star Trek is set in only 300 years time!
Earth may have been turned into a very large science museum.
They could be using just the one language that probably won't resemble anything we use today and the only gods cared about would be those who became that rarified through Darwins' evolutionary process....result!

on the other hand we might be in the process of re-inventing the wheel all over again.

Thursday 4 December 2008

brain dead

That grey matter above and behind your eyes houses heaven and hell. It creates gods, fairies, devils and chocolate fireguards, and they are all destroyed a few minutes after your heart stops beating. All beliefs in an afterlife die along with the afterlife. Oblivion heals the mistakes that conciousness invents.

But as one cannot experience oblivion you are always alive. did you experience oblivion prior to your conception?

That 14 billion years flew by.

Friday 28 November 2008

Camera....ACTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Went to see Quantum Of Solace a few weeks ago and within 15 minutes I became dazed and very confused.As soon as the action started, 2 minutes, the camera man must have dropped his live camera more times than I missed my mouth with popcorn from the quickly emptying container.After staring wide eyed at the crazed action for about 10 minutes I closed my eyes and just listened to the deafening sound track of chaos and mayhem.You knew Bond was in a desperate situation fighting and chasing a villain over roof tops, swinging on ropes and crashing through plate glass....but so it seemed was the bloody camera man, so the end product was a sort of moving empressionistic painting ie loads of colours flicked without care over a sixty foot wide canvas.For a good ten minutes your eyes couldn't settle on any detail. Apart from the manic camera work a drug crazed editor made things even worse by cutting each 'scene' to be no longer than 1.5 seconds.When the film finally slowed down enough for us to catch up on some walking and talking you had to strain to listen as the camera man was still out of breath and his wheezing was too easily audible (ok joke).Some of these new shaved headed twenty something film directors should sit quietly and watch some of Stanley Kubrick's work, you saw and understood each scene as his camera calmly absorbed them.As a Bond fan I hope that the next extravaganza concentrates on some character building, skillful camera work and introducing a smattering of humour ....and sack that bloody maniac in the cutting room!

Thursday 27 November 2008

Human 'Race', are we losing it?

Today whilst listening to a well known bald broadcaster on LBC (a talk radio) today he proudly told us of his annoyance of his postman knocking him up to give him a box of those low energy light bulbs that's all the rage.
He broadcasted to hundreds of thousands of us that he didn't want them, didn't like them, didn't ask for them and reckoned the whole idea was stupid, he then said he chucked them in the bin.
Was he just playing devil's advocate, stiring it, or is he actually one of many unfortunates who ignorantly refuse to go with the flow?
If positive propaganda in the media was ever needed on green issues it's now, so well done LBC for employing such a knob.
Yes I know this blog is short n sweet but i'm a beginner, but watch out i'm just globally warming up.